I have never been one of those girls who eat two bites of salad and claim to be stuffed. I really do love food – Mexican, Italian, Thai (my supreme favorite these days). I luckily love fruits and veggies too, (thanks, Mom and Dad!) and rarely fry anything, but sometimes a big bowl of chips and cheese is mandatory after a rough day!
In my earlier years, I could pretty much eat whatever I wanted. I remember in high school, my best friend and I used to go to Arby’s and get the five for $5 sandwiches and eat all five between us. (Which is, gulp, more than 2,000 cals just for one meal. I would NEVER do that now without feeling deeply guilty). Even my first year of college while most of my counterparts were battling the inevitable “Freshman 15,” I actually lost weight, thanks to walking all over campus instead of driving, while still eating pretty much what I wanted to. Then the weight came pouring down….
My second semester of my freshman year, I met a boy we will call "the Germ" (a name my family lovingly --ah hem, sarcasm -- gave this guy.) It was the only day it snowed, so I wanted to take full advantage of the crisp, white blanket that covered the entire campus. I called my roommate, who was at her boyfriend’s fraternity house, and she asked me to come over and enjoy the snow with them. That’s where I met the Germ. He was very charismatic, handsome, funny…we talked the entire night and went on our first date the next day. He really did seem perfect – buying me flowers, cards, introducing me to his friends the first week we met, you get the picture. But things began to rapidly change when my body started to also. I was taking a medication at the time that my doctor didn’t inform me would cause weight gain, and I packed on quite a bit over the course of several months. Rather than encourage me, he ridiculed me. We would be out somewhere and he’d point at an attractive, thin woman and say, “See her, she has the perfect body. You should look like that.” I remember another time I was so excited about a cute skirt I had bought that day at Gap, and I put it on for our date that night. The first thing he said to me was, “Your hips look big in that. You need to take it back.” I would exercise and exercise, but he’d always say it wasn’t good enough…I should run a little further, do a few more crunches, etc. And the comments continued until I finally wised up (a lot later than I should have) and broke up with him. You can’t break up with pain though. I felt horrible about my body, and my self-esteem was so low, my friend, M, suggested that I see a counselor. So I did. I’m not ashamed to admit that either because emotional abuse can be just as lethal as physical, in my opinion.
But to this day, I don’t regret being in that relationship, because I believe that God guides your life in every way. I met M through the Germ, and she and I became fast friends and roommates my last two years of school. She is a wonderful person, and even served as a bridesmaid in my wedding. Not to mention, being in a relationship with someone that toxic only makes me appreciate my amazing husband even more, who makes me feel beautiful every day. But more than anything, it helped me to see that you can’t let someone dictate how you feel about yourself, you can’t do a food plan for someone else, or exercise for someone else. It has to be solely for you.
But, I digress…for the past several years, I have gained weight, lost weight, and gained weight again. Somewhat of a yo-yo girl I guess. I dropped 25 pounds in 2003, and I felt amazing! I did a little plan you may have heard of – Weight Watchers. Basically, you have a certain number of points per day, and you have a guide to tell you what the point values are of different foods. (i.e. one of my favorite snacks, fresh cherries, are only 1 point for a whole cup.) You keep a food journal, and track everything you eat and drink (don't forget to record those margaritas!) during the day and how many points it is. You can also earn points for exercise, and have 35 extra flex points to use throughout the week. I am currently doing this plan again, which I have tried several times since my initial 2003 success. The hard part for me about this plan is staying in my points range, especially on days when I feel like I could eat my arm if it had a little bbq on it. Ha! But, it is all about making good choices I guess. Like, instead of having the 7-point Snickers bar, have the 1-point bag of popcorn.
So, in summary of my LOOOONNNG blog post (I promise I won’t get this lengthy in the future), I am putting my past behind me, and looking forward to a healthy, and hopefully, leaner future. Cheers to two pounds lost by next week…I’ll drink some H2o to that!
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